The Desperate Housewives Husbands, Ranked From Best to Absolutely Not
By Alexus Mosley
The women of Wisteria Lane may have carried Desperate Housewives, but their husbands certainly gave us plenty to discuss. Some were devoted. Some were exhausting. Others were charming enough to make us forget their red flags for a while. And some made being single look like an extremely reasonable lifestyle choice.
So, judging them by their overall run on the series, how they treated their wives, and just how much chaos they brought into the marriage, here’s our ranking of the Desperate Housewives husbands from best to absolutely not.
1. Carlos Solis
Photo Credit: ABC / Touchstone Television
Carlos had one of the biggest transformations on the entire show.
Early Carlos was controlling, jealous, and frequently impossible to defend. But over the course of the series, he became much more devoted to Gabrielle and their family, eventually revealing a softer, funnier, and more grounded side.
Carlos and Gaby were messy, dramatic, and occasionally outrageous, but there was always something convincing about the fact that these two genuinely belonged together.
He definitely wasn’t perfect but on Wisteria Lane, growth counts for a lot.
2. Mike Delfino
Photo Credit: ABC / Touchstone Television
Mike was probably the closest Desperate Housewives came to a traditional romantic leading man.
He was protective, loyal, and deeply committed to Susan despite the truly impressive amount of drama surrounding their relationship. Their road to marriage was hardly simple, but Mike consistently felt like Susan’s person.
He had secrets, made questionable decisions, and occasionally suffered from the classic television-husband condition of refusing to communicate properly.
Still, compared with most of the men on this street? Mike was practically a dream.
3. Orson Hodge
Photo Credit: ABC / Touchstone Television
Early Orson and Bree were almost suspiciously well matched.
He appreciated her cooking, understood her obsession with appearances, and could meet her at exactly the level of polished weirdness she required. At his best, Orson was cultured, attentive, funny, and completely comfortable in Bree’s meticulously controlled world.
Unfortunately, later seasons did considerable damage to his husband résumé.
Manipulation, resentment, and increasingly troubling behavior knocked him far below where early Orson might have landed.
Still, for a while there, Bree and Orson made a strangely perfect pair.
4. Tom Scavo
Photo Credit: ABC / Touchstone Television
Tom loved Lynette. That much was rarely in doubt.
The problem was that loving Lynette frequently came packaged with another career change, business idea, identity crisis, or expectation that she would somehow absorb the consequences.
Their marriage was one of the most realistic on the series, which occasionally meant watching two people who loved each other drive one another completely insane.
Tom could be warm, funny, and devoted. He could also make a midlife crisis feel like an annual event. Fourth place feels fair.
5. Paul Young
Photo Credit: ABC / Touchstone Television
Hear us out. Paul Young was obviously not the most emotionally stable man on Wisteria Lane, and his life included enough secrets and criminal behavior to fill several neighborhoods.
But when it came to his marriage to Mary Alice, Paul was intensely devoted. Perhaps too intensely.
He lands in the middle because “loving husband” and “man you should probably avoid being alone with” somehow coexist within the same character.
Only on Desperate Housewives.
6. Adam Mayfair
Photo Credit: ABC / Touchstone Television
Adam was never around long enough to become quite as memorable as the core husbands, but his marriage to Katherine certainly came with its share of secrets.
Compared with some of the men lower on this list, however, he almost feels refreshingly normal. Almost.
The Mayfairs arrived on Wisteria Lane carrying enough baggage to make everyone suspicious, and Adam’s past complicated the marriage considerably. Still, he avoids the absolute-bottom tier.
Congratulations, Adam.
7. Victor Lang
Photo Credit: ABC / Touchstone Television
Victor had money, power, and political ambition. Unfortunately, those qualities did not automatically translate into being a particularly good husband.
His marriage to Gabrielle always felt more like an arrangement between two people who enjoyed what the other represented than a relationship built to survive Wisteria Lane-level chaos.
And once the cracks began showing, they showed quickly. Great résumé. Questionable husband.
8. Rex Van de Kamp
Photo Credit: ABC / Touchstone Television
Bree and Rex looked like the perfect suburban couple. That was, of course, the problem.
Their marriage was filled with resentment, emotional distance, and years of pretending everything was perfectly fine because the table settings looked nice.
Rex wasn’t without redeeming qualities, and their relationship became more complicated and sympathetic as we learned more about both of them. But as husbands go, the Van de Kamp marriage was proof that appearances can hide a lot.
9. Karl Mayer
Photo Credit: ABC / Touchstone Television
Karl was charming, and Karl was funny. Karl was also Karl.
Susan’s ex-husband possessed the kind of charisma that could almost make you forget why she divorced him in the first place. Not really, but it sounded nice to say.
Infidelity, selfishness, and an apparently lifelong commitment to making questionable romantic decisions earn him the final spot. Fun at a party? Probably. Ideal husband? Absolutely not.